Remembering People's Name

Do you like socializing? How about remembering people's name?

Different people has different interest. Some of them like it, some of them force to due to work and purpose, and some of them have the choice not to. I personally don't really like socializing. I'mt not sure why, perhaps it's cultivated since I'm small. Occasionally socializing perhaps it's a good thing. So I've no problem for it. 

Unfortunately, I do have problem remembering other's name. Yes, I have no problem to recognize people's face at all. But I do have big problem in remembering people's name. Normally I can only cache the name for a couple of months only when I meet the person more than 2 times. 

In fact, remember people's name is a kind of respect to other. Most of the people likes to be cared and respected. People feel respected when you remember them and call them by name. And that's why remembering people's name is very important for sales people.

Nonetheless, I do have no problem in remembering beautiful and prestigious people, they are charming and I don't know why I can remember their names automatically even though I just met them once.

After I did some analysis, the problem more or less is related to my intention and desire. If my intention is to know that person or have purpose with him or her, definitely I have no problem to remember their names. Otherwise, most of the time I can forget the person name easily, even after 15 secs of introduction. Another problem is I'm not really efficient in using my memory to do this.

So how do we overcome this problem if we have this problem of remembering other's name? Since I know the root of the problem, perhaps I can change my intention. But this is hard because sometimes we just forgotten about it. 

The other effective method would be immediately jot down the person's name into paper or mobile right after introduction. 

If that's very cumbersome for you and you would like to be more professional, perhaps you can consider using another effective method from a memory guru, Harry Lorayne. He claimed that he can remember the names and faces of everybody in the audience of his lectures. I'm not sure how many hundreds of people in his lectures, but more than 10 people at a time are pretty good enough for me.

In his tips given, the only way to remember names is to tie the name o the person's face. The face will bring the name to mind, and the name will help you to picture the face. In short, they are 2 steps involved. The first one is to make the name mean something. 

For example, McCarthy might make you think of a ventriloquist's dummy, Charlie McCarthy. For no meaning name, you may use your imagination. For example, for a name like Gordon, you can always picture a garden. You also can make a sentence if you can imagine it. For example, Kusek - See a cue stick being sick. "Cue Sick" = Kusek.

Now, the 2nd step is to tie the name, or the substitute word for it, to the face. For example, Smith. Smith has a large nose. See that nose as a blacksmith's hammer, or you're hammering on his nose with the hammer. Again, this is individual thing. 2 people may look at the same face and pick 2 different features.

That's about it. I've summarized the method and perhaps you would like to refer to his memory book for full details. I hope you found the 3rd method interesting. Of course, practice makes perfect. The best way to practice all this is to go ahead and do it. 

There is another guru sharing 5 tips to remember people's name, which you may be interested.

Good luck and have a nice weekend, folks!

The Lessons From Three Kingdoms

I'm watching Three Kingdoms new series drama recently. If you haven't know, Three Kingdoms is a well-known period in the history of China. In short, it talks about the loss of Han Dynasty emperor power with the rising and ending of the three empires in China.

This drama recorded is Mandarin and most of the casts are from China. It has 95 episodes in total, which is consider a long China history drama. So far I've watched 45% of them. 

In fact, I love to watch war movies, like Lord Of The Ring series. I'm a Three Kingdoms' fan since my early 20's. I'm very much attracted to it's story line and casts. I won't miss any drama or movie related to Three Kingdoms. Most importantly, we can learn many lessons from this history, which I would like to share some of them with you today.

1) Communication Skills

Most of the leaders in Three Kingdom are pro in their communication skills. The way they speak to their troops and commandos are professional, prestigious and well respected. They make use of their communication skills to motivate, convince, compliment and negotiate with others, especially with their enemy.

Thus, to be a leader, we have no choice but to sharpen our communication and public speaking skills, just like them.

2) Trust

In 3 Kingdoms, the wise people can make you trust what he said, and the fool people can make you loss trust of what he said even it is truth. We can learn from this story that why we cannot easily trust what others told us. We have think and analyze the information first, before making any decision.

3) Understanding

Why the top advisors in Three Kingdoms can lead the troop to win the battle easily? This is because they understand what is required in a battle, like enemy behavior, terrain condition, weather effect, psychology and so on. The more you understand in detail, the more advantage you'll have. Like what Sun Tzu said, you can win the battle only when you know your enemy and yourself, which is very true.

4) Speed

Chow Cao had one definite advantage over others, FAST. His decision and action are like thunder. The enemy has almost no chance to prepare every time before his attack. And that's why his winning record is the best among all other emperors. The old men used to say, 'Once we talk about Chow Cao, here's Chow Cao comes'. It means Chow Cao act too fast that when you mention about his name, he will appear in front of you.

It reflects to the business world today. Business is facing huge competition from every aspect. The number of competitors are increasing every day and they want to make you down. Whoever wants to stand out from the crowd, he/she has to be the first one to act. Early bird gets the worm.

5) Wisdom

No doubt, wisdom is the most important skill in a battle. Chow Cao managed to obtain many castles for free, just because he applied the right wisdom from himself and his advisors. Most of the time, he did not even need to sacrifice one soldier to get the castle. It's total an unfair game for others.

On the other hand, Kong Ming utilized his wisdom to defeat Chow Cao million's troop with his 100,000 small troop. That's why the Chinese always said, 'Don't fight for it but use wisdom to take it'. It's a lot easier and more efficient. However, wisdom doesn't grow and gain in one day, but to accumulate over many years. 

There are many other lessons from this story, you can discover yourself, like the meaning of faith and generosity. Again, Three Kingdoms is a long drama which is worth for me to spend my precious time with.

Now, are you interested to watch Three Kingdoms? If you are Mandarin literate, perhaps you can watch it via ppstream web site for free. If you know any English translated or subtitle ppstream URL, perhaps you can share it here.

Hey, it's time to continue my Three Kingdoms drama. Have a nice weekend, folks.

How Difficult it is to Know a Person?

Last few days ago, I read a book and discovered one of the stories drew my immediate attention. As usual, I would like to share with you here. 

The story is from Confucius on how difficult to know a person. 

I'm not the fans of Confucius, but this story led me to agree of what He found out. Most of the times, we trust with what we hear and see and make decision immediately. In fact, that's not always the 'real' fact. Let's begin  with the story...

During Confucius travel, He was delayed in the States of Chen. He was without food for a week. 

One day, one of his disciples, Yan Hui found some rice and cooked it. When the rice was almost done, Confucius accidentally walked into the kitchen and noticed that Yan took a small bit of rice and ate it. Even though Confucius saw this, he did not say anything. 

When Yan Hui invited Confucius to eat, Confucius said: “I’ve just dreamed of my father, Yan Hui. The clean rice should be offered to him as sacrifice.” Yan Hui immediately replied: “Some soot feel into the rice moments ago. It would be a pity to throw the whole pot away, so I picked out the contaminated rice and ate it. Since I’ve eaten some of them, the rest is not clean anymore, and therefore it cannot be offered as sacrifice.” 

Confucius regretted questioning Yan Hui’s honesty, and signed, “That which is most believable is what one sees, but one cannot always trust his eyes. That which is most reliable is what one thinks, but one cannot always trust his brain. Disciples, you should remember how difficult it is to know a person.”

I hope you get the moral of the story. 

Well, I understand that we might feel very uncomfortable if we see or hear something but we take no action. We all agreed that the world has changed and people are becoming more selfish nowadays. Sometimes, I feel it's better to find a smart way to question indirectly first rather than trust entirely or act on it.

Like Confucius said, we should understand how difficult it is to know a person. Perhaps we should learn more wisdom from Confucius.

Have fun, folks.